Recommending Mr. Fitz

The other day I mentioned here that there were times when I taught when I was certain no one else knew what I was going through. Well, there is someone else who really seems to get it: David Finkle. He is the creator of the Mr. Fitz comic strip.

Finkle is a former middle school/current high school English teacher. He knows what he’s drawing and writing about in this strip. I would like to suggest you give his website, http://mrfitz.com.

He covers the gamut of what it is like to teach in an age of growing demonization of teachers and teaching. And he does it in a really funny way. In addition to being a loyal reader, I’ve bought two of his Mr. Fitz books, which collect the strips from the web. 

Here are a couple of his strips he said I could use for this post. 

So look for Mr. Fitz on Facebook and on the Web. 

Top Ten Word Lists

With thanks to my frined Carla Beard at Web English Teacher (a totally fantastic resource), I offer you these lists of words. I am completely fascinated by words. As Wittgenstein said, "The limits of my language mean the limits of my world."

Top Ten Word Lists

Ten Rules for Writing Fiction

As I was looking through my friends' posts on Face Book today, I found a link to this: Ten Rules for Writing Fiction.

Anyone want to share a rule you have for writing? It does not necessarily need to be about fiction.

With all due respect to Newton, here's mine:

A pencil at rest tends to stay at rest; a pencil in motion tends to stay in motion.

Creating Fun Ways to Study Vocabulary

I have found some cool new sites to help me get my students ready for the vocabulary I teach them. I go with the idea of teaching them Greek and Latin root words. And I start with numerical prefixes. A great big shout out to Ted Nellen for originating this idea and turning me on to it about ten years ago or so.


Classtools.net is the first site I like. I used it to create these two games.

Click here for full screen version

Click here for full screen version

I also used Pro Profs to create this stack of flash cards to help my students study.

Powered By ProProfs: Create Flashcards

I have felt the need to give my students these kinds of tools in order to get them to study. I am hoping that if I make the studying a bit more fun they will focus more on it.

These are all on my website for the students.

What do you think of these games?

Causal Chain

One of the types of essays to teach is the cause and effect essay. Why is this one to teach? Because it is tested in Alabama. Well, that's sort of a cop-out. It is important to be able to trace causes and effects. To be able to examine a situation analytically to determine how it came about. Right now, with the financial meltdown going on, wouldn't it be instructive to know what caused it, so that we could try to avoid those mistakes in the future? But I digress.


One of the types of cause and effect papers is the causal chain. A causes B which then causes C which then causes D... I like to find cool videos of dominoes for the causal chain visual. I just got this off Cosmic Variance. I like it. When we get to it, I think my students will like it too.

Obfuscate Clearly

One of the lessons I really love to do with my kids is to work with them on clarity.

Introducing the concept of clarity is fun in and of itself. I begin by asking what they think clarity means. Of course, while I am asking, I have a webpage up on the board with a quick thumbnail definition.

Then we listen to Abbott and Costello doing their famous Who's on First? routine. I am always amazed by how many of them have not heard of this routine. It is a classic and needs to kept alive. Then we disect why there was a breakdown in communication. It is fun and I can direct them to Youtube for more Abbott and Costello routines.

Then I read from Running from Safety by Richard Bach. On pages 210-211 he describes what it was like to be a technical writer. During his time there, a plane crashed due to a mistaken word in a checklist. I feel it is a good real life example of why clarity is so important.

Then we move to the concept of pretentious/overblown language. I want them to get a feel for it--to see why it is counterproductive when trying for clarity. I follow that talk up by having them complete a worksheet titled "Rules to Live By" from the book Basic Skills/Reading Comprehension 6-8.

As they work on that individually, I wander around and help where I can. I do not answer questions the way they want: I don't tell them what to write. Instead I ask a lot of leading questions and try to lead the Socratically to the correct answer.

After we finish that up, I call on them randomly to translate for me. They are translating from overblown English to regular English. In fact, to ease them into it, this worksheet has the answers below and they just need to match them up.

Then on to the next segment. I pass out a handout with ten Obfuscated Proverbs on it. These are not mine. They have been floating around the Internet for years and years. I just use some of them as an object lesson. I start by taking them step-by-step through how to "translate" an obfuscated proverb. The PowerPoint I use for that is below.




I let them work together in pairs as I wander around again. Again I try to lead them Socratically to the correct answers.

I am told that the exercise is hard. It is too much. It makes their brains hurt.
I am asked why we need to do this in a writing class. And whined at occasionally that I expect too much from them.

I don't. I know the exercise is challenging for them. It is not a word for word translation, but a getting a sense of where a proverb is going and jumping to a guess. They hate to guess for the most part. They want something that they can figure out and prove to be the way it ought to be. But life isn't like that. Sometimes you have to figure things out. Sometimes you won't even have a partner to work with or a mentor/coach to ask for help.

They will finish with this tomorrow. I look forward to more of what I saw today: kids who "get it" lighting up as they realize they figured out something they thought was too hard.

Thanks, Nancy!

One of the writing exercises I like to use to help me get to know my students is to have them write a 15-sentence self portrait, and idea inspired by Wendy Bishop. I shared this exercise with my friends on the English Teacher Talk List (you can join the list interversity.org) years ago.

The best thing about being on a listserv is that when you share, it gets returned to you in unexpected ways. Nancy Steen, a New Hampshire teacher and longtime listfriend, took the idea and added a terrific new twist to it. After having her students write their 15-sentence self portraits, she had them take them to wordle and turn them into artwork.

And that inspired me to dust off one of my 15-sentence portraits (not of myself alone, but a memory of my father) and try the same thing. You can see my results below.



If you are not part of an ongoing professional community, like a listserv or a writing project, I highly recommend finding one and joining. Doing so yeilds terrific results.

More than One Way to Skin a Cat

Yesterday I had fun. It was Evil Fun. But, in doing so, I believe I made a point and turned a potential struggle for control in the classroom into a comedy show.

This is my first full, five-day week with my writing students (all of them, that is, except the ones out driving with the drivers' ed teacher). As such I am taking time each day to explain and practice with them writing to each of the different types of journal prompts I use in class.

To digress, at the beginning of class I have a PowerPoint presentation that automatically loops around and around to the five different prompts. The first slide is a quote, the second a picture of some sort, the third a story starter from The Writer's Book of Matches: 1,001 Prompts to Ignite Your Fiction by the staff of fresh boiles peanuts, a lterary journal, the fourth a question from the Book of Questions, and lastly a chance to write on whatever topic interests them that day.

So each day this week I am introducing them to a different kind of prompt, getting them to write to it. Writing to it myself. Yesterday we were writing to the picture prompt. It is an old one of some football player being tackled. I don't even remember where I got it. I told the class, after we talked about what kind of writing could come from the picture, that it was time to start and to get writing.

One young man, who I promised would remain nameless here, wasn't getting started. He was just sitting there. I stage whispered to him, "Nameless--it's time to get writing, man."

He looked up at me with a direct challenge in his eyes and said, "I don't want to write."

I looked at him in mock horror as I could feel the eyes of the rest of the class stealing over to the scene. They wanted to know how I would handle it. Would I yell at him, threaten him, ignore him and let him get a zero? Was this a path they wanted to follow him down?

I said in my best fake choked-up voice, "You don't want to write?"

Then I literally fell to my knees in front of his desk, clasped my hands together in supplication and began to wail in best theatrical voice, "Oh, Nameless, PLEASE write something! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!"

The rest of the class was silent for a moment. Whatever they expected, it sure wasn't this.

"Please, Nameless," I wailed, false sobs ripping from my chest, "Please write something during journal writing time!!!"

At this point he jumped up out of his desk and started backing away from me as the class dissolved into helpless laughter. I followed on my knees still begging him in my best theatrical manner to write.

He returned to his seat and picked up his pencil. The look in his eyes said he wasn't sure if he should be angry at me for the show I was putting on or scared that I really was a crazy man. I began to implore him. "Nameless, all you have to do to make me stop is to write something in your journal. Please writne one little thing in your journal so I can stop doing this!!"

He relented and began to write in the journal. As he finished his first word he looked up at me to see what effect it would have on my weird behavior.

Still on my knees I raised my hands into the air and shouted, "Halleluja! He's writing! Nameless is writing!!!" Still fake sobbing, now in joy, I rose to my feet, dusted off my knees, looked at the rest of the class and asked in my normal voice, "Is there anybody else who desn't want to write in their journal today?"

The room was silent except for the scribbling of pens and pencils on paper.

All in all, it was one of my better performances.

Brain Rules

This summer I read several books on education. Why? Because I enjoy keeping current. At least that’s what I tell my wife when she asks me. And I do enjoy keeping current. I also just enjoy seeing classroom practice through someone else’s eyes. This professional reading for fun is a habit that started for me way back in 1989 when I attended my first summer invitational institute for the Sun Belt Writing Project. So much of what is good about my teaching comes from my almost 20 year association with Sun Belt.

This summer one of the books I read that just blew me away was Brain Rules: 12 Principles for Surviving and Thriving at Work, Home, and School by John Medina. At first it might seem an unlikely pick for an English teacher. After all, what do I know about neuroscience? What does the way the brain works have to do with me?

As a teacher, the way the brain works should have a lot to do with the way I teach. After all, as I learn better how the brain works, I can make adjustments to my teaching in order to take full advantage of the knowledge. Here are the 12 rules:

Rule #1: Exercise boosts brain power.
Rule #2: The human brain evolved, too.
Rule #3: Every brain is wired differently.
Rule #4: We don't pay attention to boring things.
Rule #5: Repeat to remember.
Rule #6: Remember to repeat.
Rule #7: Sleep well, think well.
Rule #8: Stressed brains don't learn the same way.
Rule #9: Stimulate more of the senses.
Rule #10: Vision trumps all other senses.
Rule #11: Male and female brains are different.
Rule #12: We are powerful and natural explorers.

While some of the above rules may seem to be intuitive, each is treated with scientific rigor. He has had the time and the expertise to research these matters and come up with some evidence of their effectiveness. I usually fuzz out on specifics and can only remember that I heard it somewhere. Not the most convincing of arguments. At the same time, Medina does not claim to have all the answers and throughout the book sets up intriguing questions for further research.

Medina has turned Brain Rules into a multimedia experience. He has a website with short videos on the major concepts of the rules and a blog. I have subscribed to the blog and look at the videos and other extra info on the website frequently. I especially like the tutorials on each of the rules. They are entertaining as well as informative.

Whether or not I will make use of all the incredible information in the book is, of course, the question. In order to try I am trying to get a Professional Reading Group going this year. I have already received a preliminary okay on it from the school level. Now we are just waiting to hear from the central office level. The hitch to cover is that I am trying to get this group professional development credit for reading the book and discussing it.

Here’s hoping that the book will do me and, more importantly, my students, some good.

Found Poem Variation

On Friday I worked with a variation of found poetry that I developed for my classes several years ago. I have published my 2004 Sun Belt presentation on Google Docs, just in case anyone would like to take a look at it.

A Little Something for NaPoMo

If you click on the menu button, you can find the code to embed this in your own blog or website. I would be flattered if you want to use it. If you do, please let me know. I'm interested in how useful this could be.

Chutzpah

You know, there are times when I just have to marvel at the sheer chutzpah some students exhibit. First a minor example, than a larger one. Brief note: I choose to view each of these as a major example of chutzpah and not stupidity.

I was showing a poetry video in class today, as it is National Poetry Month. It is the first video in the Language of Life Series by Bill Moyers. The featured poets are Sekou Sundiata, who recently passed away, and Naomi Shihab Nye. My students were to keep their heads up, their eyes open, and their mouths shut during the video. That was basically the assignment for them at the time: pay attention to the video. One several students were unable to do this to the point where they earned themselves detention notices. One of them had a novel defense: “I wasn’t talkin’, I was sleepin’!” As if that behavior was such an improvement.

The larger example actually comes from another teacher in my school. She was extremely upset last week as her cell phone had been stolen off her desk in the last ten minutes of the day. She knew from talking to the phone company that calls had been made since then, some obviously from inside the school. A couple of her female students knew who took it and stole it back from him to give to her, letting her know who took it. The student who originally took the phone still had it, at school, today. There were pictures in the phone’s memory of him at school. He had erased all the numbers she had in memory and replaced them with numbers he wanted to call. But he failed to erase the log of ingoing and outgoing calls.

Come on. If you are going to steal a teacher’s phone, and you know she is actively looking for it and the person who stole it, why keep bringing it back to school day after day?

I must be getting old, because I just can’t understand the thrill in that.

Web English Teacher Rules!

I have been having some fun in my English classes lately teaching some short stories. But I wanted some more resources, so I started looking and found a lot of helpful information at webenglishteacher.com. I highly recommend this site; it is an excellent resource for language arts teachers of all levels. While I am at the recommending, let me also recommend the blog that the Web English Teacher keeps. I got to poking around in it yesterday and in the blink of an eye two hours of my life disappeared. It is well written and has many fascinating links. But do be warned that it is a time sink. A pleasurable one, but a time sink none the same. I blame W.E.T. for being such an extremely entertaining blogger.

NWP at NYC: Day Two

My second day in the City did start with something of a sense of urgency. The hotel somehow didn’t get me my wakeup call, so I overslept by about a half an hour or so. I had to walk about five blocks up to the Javits Center. Before nine. I had missed the Sun Belt first-morning-at-the-conference breakfast; the hotel it was at was in an inconvenient direction. They knew I wasn’t going to be there, so I felt a distinct lack of guilt about it.

About a block or so from the Javits Center I got my first cell phone call asking where I was. I told them and continued. In side the Javits Center it was another long walk to get to the opposite end. The first person I saw wasn’t a Sun Belter, but someone we all know and respect, Sherry Swain of the Mississippi Writing/Thinking Institute. She was talking with several Sun Belters. John, Cathy and Alyson were there, and also Whitney and Susan. Whit looked so happy to be in NYC and superexcited about being at the conference, her first. We made lunch plans then went to our morning sessions. I grabbed me a bagel on the way, so I wouldn’t starve.

I went to one on planning an online presence. As it was a three-hour long workshop, I was hoping for something good. And I was not disappointed. The facilitators started us off writing and discussing with people at our tables. The interaction with other Tech Liaisons (for most of the people there were) was, as always, refreshing. We are in tune and know the challenges the position entails. I am taking back to the group three very important questions. I want to discuss these with the leadership teams and with the site fellows in general. Here are the questions:

How would I describe the identity of Sun Belt?

What stands out most vividly for me about Sun Belt?

What people, places, activities most define Sun Belt?

If any Sun Belters read this, please comment on these. I am eager to know what y’all think.

I have my answers to them, but want to get other perspectives. Maybe I could start a wiki where we could discuss this...

I got to talking with the TL from Winthrop Writing Project out of South Carolina. Brandon was very energetic. He told me a bit about their new teacher initiative and it sounds like that site has it going on. I am hoping to keep in touch with him now that real life has returned.

I met the Sun Belters for lunch. The only place open in the whole of the Javits Center was one pizza fast food place. We were in a food court surrounded by closed fast food places. It was weird. And as the weather was stormy, leaving the Center wasn’t really an option. There were twenty or so people ahead of us on the line. We got on while the getting was good. By the time we finished our lunch and took off, the line stretched for hundreds of people. Poor planning for that part of the conference.

The afternoon session was another three-hour one. This one was ostensibly about planning inservice workshops (on writing and reading) for teachers in all subject areas. Disappointingly, the first presenter talked for over an hour. No interactivity. She had some good ideas, but the sheer length of the presentation wore. The second speaker had multicolored handouts for us to focus on and that was more palatable, but still, almost no interactivity. All in all, I was disappointed.

If you were only interested in the professional portion of the day, you can stop reading here. For the rest of the day, read on.

Then we left. As they searched for a cab, I decided to walk back to my hotel to put up the laptop. I couldn’t see carrying that with me. I hung out in my room a bit and then left to find my friends for drinks before dinner.

I got a call from John that they were at a place called The Social. It was very loud, but they made a halfway decent whiskey sour. We tried to talk for a bit, but it was hard to hear ourselves think, never mind talk. So after John attacked me with a lit candle, spilling white wax on my dark blue shirt, we took off to wander around until it was time for dinner.

We found a little shop that was a mom and pop art place. I looked a lot, but restrained myself. I did buy vicariously. I pointed out a couple of different cards to Whitney, who loved and bought them. I can’t remember the name of the place, but it was pretty cool.
Then dinner. Cathy got us reservations at 44 South West Italian Continental Restaurant. We were joined by Jordan and his boss from JSU. Also Will and Jessica Henry (Jess is a TC from our site) found us and a couple of teachers from Opelika High School who I never really got to meet or talk to, unfortunately. The food was great. The company was better. It was a great time. And the whiskey sour was a little stronger than that at The Social.

Then we broke up, sadly enough, and started to wander back toward the hotels the others were staying at. I wanted to walk around more, and Susie also wanted to walk around. So we broke off from the group and wandered down to Fifth Avenue again. I found out that Susie was also a sci-fi geek. That was cool. Then I got hit over the head by the tired stick and Susie was still busy taking pictures of publishing houses, so we went our separate ways.

I got back to my hotel and slept really well.

NYC for the NWP National Conference

When I got to NYC for the National Writing Project’s national conference, I got sort of a contact high from being in “the City.” I got to my hotel room, after a few minor hiccups caused my lack of attention to detail (Luckily I was not in any hurry and so I never felt like I was rushed. When there is no particular reason to hurry, why do so?). I got to my room and made the calls I needed to make to let people know I was here and safe. Then I had to get out and go walking. My hotel, The Americana Inn, is on 38th Street, just off of The Avenue of the Americas (6th Ave). That put me a few blocks from several NYC landmarks.

I walked toward Rockefeller Center, passing Bryant Park on the way. I had no idea where I was eventually going to wind up, and I didn’t care. I was walking around in NYC at night, and it felt totally safe. I don’t know why that surprises me. I felt safe in all the other big cities the NWP has visited in the past, but I was a little anxious before I got here.

I walked from 38th Street down to 47th and then farther. I passed by the Radio City Music Hall. I looked at the tree (not decorated, still scaffolded) at Rockefeller Center. Looking in, I saw that the ice skating rink there had been set up. Then I got to 5th Avenue and took a left. Soon I was passing by St. Patrick’s Cathedral. It is beautiful. I can’t imagine the amount of skill it took for the stone masons in the early 1800’s to build that.

I kept walking a while and pretty soon ended up at Central Park. Not feeling that I wanted to tempt fate, I didn’t actually enter the park. In fact within a couple of blocks I was turned around and headed back the way I came. By this time I was hungry and tried to spot some sort of a little diner to grab a nosh in. Two burger places I passed were already closed. But I did get to see the mass schedule at St. Patrick’s and decided to get there Sunday morning, if possible. I am not exactly sure when my plane is leaving. But with the first mass at 7:00, I ought to make it.

I passed by the NBC News building. Passed by Fox Noise, as well. Actually, the building doesn’t look evil from the outside. As I was headed back to my room, I saw a TGI Friday’s, and earlier I had passed a Mickey D’s, but I was damned if I was going to travel 1200 miles and somewhere I could at home. So I bought a hot dog, a pretzel, and a bottle of water from a street cart. I felt so New York.

Then it was back to the room, try to calm down and let the adrenaline rush level off. But when CSI: New York came on I was rejazzed. The main crime took place in Times Square, which is about a half mile or so from where I am staying.

I am not getting a wireless connection in the hotel, and I didn’t really expect one. I was annoyed that the phone won’t make outgoing calls without a $50 deposit. And then I’d be charged 85 cents a minute. No way! It took a couple of days, but I am now at a branch of the NY Public Library next to Bryant Park. And it was just a few blocks from my room.


I’ll write updates on my subsequent days soon. It has been packed.

ACTE Conference 2007

Okay, before I forget too much about it, I would like to write a little about this year’s Alabama Council of Teachers of English conference. I was invited to submit a proposal for a workshop a long time ago and did so. This workshop is titled “Introducing Process Writing Using Legos.” I’ll get to that in a bit.

The day started off with a keynote speech by Carol Jago. She was lively and entertaining, as well as thought provoking. She posited that teachers are often not working in their students’ Zones of Proximal Development (ZPD) as proposed by Vygotsky. She thinks that a lot of teachers (and she did not exclude herself entirely) work in their students’ ZME: Zone of Minimal Effort.

She thinks that too often teachers make the work too easy for the students. She believes we should challenge our students more in the classroom. I have to say, she made some good points in her speech. She shared a lesson with us and got us talking to each other and sharing with each other. It was well done and thought provoking. A little while later I had a chance to meet her and talk to her a little one on one. She was friendly and interesting in person as well. She autographed a copy of her book Cohesive Writing for me. As soon as I finish Writing Brave and Free: Encouraging Words for People Who Want to Start Writing by Ted Kooser and Steve Cox I plan to read it.

The speaker at lunch was Watt Key, author of Alabama Moon. He was an entertaining speaker and kept the crowd of teachers laughing. He didn’t do a reading from his book, saying he always disliked going to readings of other authors (no matter how much he happened to like the author). Instead he told us stories about his time in college and his visit to New York after his book was accepted for publication.

My workshop came up after lunch. I started by defining an old definition of an expert--someone who travels more than 20 miles and provides handouts. It got the hoped for laugh and broke the ice. I then quickly explained the idea behind the activity, passing out bags of 25-30 Legos to groups of students who then build something with them. They also have to write specific instructions for another group to do the same. Then I take pics, the object gets deconstructed, and then another group (in a different class if possible) tries to recreate the original object following the directions.

It doesn’t take long to explain, even with a PowerPoint show of what my students created and what the next group created using the provided instructions. The meat of the workshop was actually breaking the teachers up into pairs (and one group of three due to the odd number) and letting them construct something, write instructions, deconstruct it and swap with another group. They all worked happily away while I wandered around the room and tried to keep out of their way.

I didn’t have my digital camera, as the battery is fried and will not hold a charge. I was a little at a loss until I though of my cell phone. I took pictures of the original objects with it and then emailed the pics to my myself. I was then able to open them up and show them to the group over the LCD projector hooked up to the classroom computer. It worked out pretty well. One of the participants told me that she appreciated the opportunity to actually do the activity. She said that if I had simply told them about it she would not have “gotten it.” But by letting them do it themselves she “got it.” I was pleased. I was also pleased that the extra handouts I had were mainly taken by the participants to share with other teachers at their schools.

I was going to try to go to another session after mine, but due t me heading for the wrong room, and staying there a while, I would have been unfashionably late. I was also a bit fatigued from the drive to Birmingham and the equally long search for a hotel room (apparently the Birmingham hotels were full with fans going to the Alabama/Tennessee football game the next day--serves m e right for not being a football fan). I decided to head for home.

Before I left, Cindy Adams, the president of the ACTE, and my friend, asked if I would like to be a Representative-at-Large for the ACTE, as there was no representation from my part of the state. I agreed. Now I will patiently wait for the other shoe to drop and find out what, exactly, I have signed on for. Whatever it is, I will do it the best I can. I am excited that Cindy is reviving the ACTE. It is a needed organization in the state.

I look forward to the next ACTE conference. I will try to have a new workshop set up for that one.

Tabloid Headline Poetry

One of the most common complaints that I get from students is that writing is boring. They never have any fun. And my exhortations that what they write can be fun, and if they share that with others they share the fun, often fall on deaf ears. So today I did a "fun" lesson. It comes from "Tabloid Tone Exercise" by Lee Upton, found in The Practice of Poetry edited by Robin Behn and Chase Twichell. It was adapted by my friend and colleague John Pennisi, one of the co-director's of the Sun Belt Writing Project.

The idea as we use it is to take a headline from a tabloid (take your pick from any of the weirder ones), turn it into the title of a poem, and write a poem about it. I ask to treat it seriously, but my own poems almost always tend to come out tongue-in-cheek. Here are the three I wrote today. I do not vouch for their quality, but it did get me writing in the classroom with my students. Always a worthy goal.

LOST DOGGY TRAVELS 1000 MILES TO COME HOME

...to attack the owner who abandonded him!

or

Revenge of the Yappy Dog

"Taco killed him!" cried his wife
"That little chihuahua took Stan's life!
He told us that Taco had run away last week,
Now he's been killed by that little pipsqueak!"

Who knew that Taco, weighing only four pounds,
Could find his way home and bring his owner down?
The guy tried to ditch him in another state,
Driven crazy by the yap, yap, yapping, early and late.

Taco came home and snuck in through the back,
For once he was silent, waiting to attack.
As his owner passed by, in the middle of the night,
Taco took him down--and it served him right!

Leaving that little yappy dog allalone in the woods,
He should have known it would come to no good.
Now he is dead, hea has paid for his sin,
But Taco's escaped--and may strike again!

©2007-Art Belliveau

MAN'S HEAD EXPLODES DURING HAIRCUT

They always ask about the beard and the hair.
I don't know why they even care.
"Man, why's your hair in a ponytail?
Don't you know that style is stale?"

After 12 years of Catholic school,
Where short hair was always the rule,
I grew it long, so just back way off!
Least that's how I try to play it off.

But it's not the truth, at least not all,
So now I'll tell the whole truth to y'all.
It happened way back, 25 years ago,
Right before I decided to let it all grow.

I was at the barber's, waiting my turn,
When this one dude's new crew cut started to burn!
All of a sudden his went BOOM!!!
So took off running out of the room.

I'll take no chances, I decided then,
I'll just let it grow and avoid firemen
And the bomb squad--I know it is weird,
But that's why I've got this long hair and this beard.

©2007-Art Belliveau

FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH FOUND IN NYC SUBWAY TOILET!

There are some things, I just don't wanna know.
Some facts that I don't need to learn.
Some places that I just don't wanna go,
For fear that I'll never return.

I do not care how old I get.
Or how many gray hairs I may grow.
I never would try it, no, not on a bet,
I could never win enough dough.

Apparently, though, someone has tried it,
Though I could puke at just the mere thought.
And the change that occured, well, he couldn't hide it.
He left the stall and was caught.

Some things in life just aren't worth it.
Some things I'd rather not be told.
I wish that they never did unearth it,
But, though they did, I would rather grow old!

©2007-Art Belliveau